Happy Anniversary to me!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Today is my 1 year anniversary! I had pit surgery a year ago today at MDA and my numbers show that I am still cured. Last months am cortisol was 3.3 (6.2 - 19.4) and ACTH was 5.7 (7.2 - 63.3). I am currently on 15 mg and trying really hard to get down to 12.5 mg. I recently started Growth Hormone and am hoping that that will help me with some ongoing problems.

This year has been the hardest of my life. Most of you know I had a number of complications after surgery and spent a lot of time in various hospitals. I know that I am not necessarily the norm, but I want to share the good and the bad about this past year.

The Bad:
I have felt sick and exhausted for most of this year and for a good 6-8 months of it I was nauseated. I haven't been able to take care of my kids the way I would like to. My house has become a messy, messy place. I have only lost 5 pounds. I feel sickly a lot of the time. My muscles are still really weak. The brain fog is still present a lot of the time.

The Good:
However, I do feel like surgery was worthwhile. I find that my mental outlook is greatly improved. I haven't had a single panic attack since surgery. (I was having horrid ones almost every night.) I am less sweaty. I have a clear complexion. My hair isn't oily. My hump is gone. My stretch marks aren't red anymore. I can easily sleep through the night.

This cure isn't exactly what I thought it would be. Of course, in my imagination I saw myself recovering quickly and having all symptoms gone within 6 months. Well, this disease doesn't play fair! I keep believing that things will get better and better and that in the near future I will feel great. I'm hoping that a combination of more weaning and the GH will help me lose weight and feel less foggy.

I will say that I have learned a great deal about myself and learned how truly kind others can be. I am a stronger person than I knew, and I have an ability to be positive even in extreme situations. I have learned how to be patient. (I've had a lot of practice this year.) I've become assertive in getting what I know I need. I have become a mother less concerned in appearances and more concerned with making memories.
I've learned that people want to help you and are truly kind. 

I am a better person because of this past year...

Thank you to all of you who have helped me through this. lifeline to me. Recovery is physically and emotionally hard, and I could not have done this without so many of you.

Thanks for watching my children, cleaning my house, bringing me food, visiting me,sending me cards and email. It was all deeply appreciated.
Love to you all,
Alicia

5 comments:

Amber said...

You are great!! Thanks for the update. I'll keep you in my thoughts!!!

Amber

Dustin, Darci, Britton, Benjamin, & Caden said...

Wow! What a year!

Mary said...

You are so amazing. What a journey. I am hoping that you will get better and better, faster and faster!!

Lacey said...

I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! I know you couldn't mention my by name in that post but I got who you were talking about as the biggest help :)! I love you and your cute kids and grumpy husband! xxoo

Ashley said...

I can't believe it's been a year. You're amazing. I love you!!